Slate Magazine has an article about couples using one of their mother's as a surrogate if the wife is unable to carry the child herself. In this most recent case a woman marries, has two children,and a hysterectomy and a divorce and then re-marries. Her new husband wants to have children and all they are missing is the womb. So the wife's mother volunteers to have her daughter and son-in-law's embryo implanted in her.
At the age of 56 grandma gave birth to triplets. It makes sense that if you would entrust someone with your embryo, it should be someone very close to you, and a familial relationship is obviously even better. However the author raises potential sticky situations:
"Motherhood is splintering. You can have a genetic mother, a gestational mother, an adoptive mother, and God knows what else. When one of your moms is Grandma, it's even more confusing."
I think as long as the surrogate is healthy and the doctor approves there is nothing wrong if they are OK with it. While the author thinks it's just plain creepy, it's about as creepy as any surrogate mother relationship, however it's not with a stranger.
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2 comments:
Marissa,
I actually know a woman who had her mom carry her baby, just like what you are speaking about. The woman had her womb, but she did not get regular periods because she was a very competitive triathlete. Her doctor told her she would not be able to get pregnant unless she was willing to stop working out, and she was not willing to do it. So, her solution was to have her mom carry her baby.
I thought it was really weird myself, and I had never heard of it before. I felt like it was an easy way out for her so that she could keep up her intensive training and still have a child. In my view, if she was truly ready for the huge commitment of raising a kid, she should would have been willing to give up the training regimen.
In my view, a mother's strong emotional interest in helping her daughter may render the mother an inappropriate/biased carrier because the emotions involved and desire to help could easily cloud rational decisions regarding whether or not the woman should, or truly wants to have a child.
However, in a different situation where a woman is medically unable to have a child, maybe then a mother would be a desirable carrier because she is already part of the family.
I guess the complexity comes in when you take into the account the relationship a woman develops with the fetus throughout the 9 months that it is developing inside of her. Mothers claim that the attachment they develop to the baby during those 9 months is a completely unique bond that is unabled to be developed elsewhere. Perhaps the stickiness comes in when you think about the grandmother developing that relationship with the child. Will she be able to detach herself and form a purely grandmother/grandchild relationship with the baby? Or will she always in a way view the child as her own in a way due to the months it was growing inside of her?
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